Celebrating love with a difference

By FPJ Bureau, May 5, 2013 01:44:51 AM

Love knows no language and barrier! The story of  a Transgender Shabnam & her heterosexual husband Mukesh is a fitting example of this commonly said phrase.

This is a love story straight out of film, albeit with a difference. It has a hero, a heroine – and a villain, too. But then the plot took a 180-degree turn and this action-packed romantic thriller became a new-age love story, poised to be recorded on the sands of time.

Meet Shabnam (once going by the name of Gopal Khawaskar), 21, a kinnar (eunuch) girl, and her husband, Mukesh, 22, a ‘straight’ guy. Together, they decided to defy social taboos and get married over a year ago in Nagpur, Maharashtra.

Their romance began about six months before they got married. Shabnam went to visit Mukesh’s sister, who was her cousin’s friend. “When we met, it was love at first sight for both of us. Mukesh asked for my mobile phone number that very first time. We soon became friends, and then our friendship developed into love,” recalls Shabnam.

Mukesh, who seems to be the more inhibited of the two, chips in, “I couldn’t express what I felt for her in words, but I was very sure about one thing – I wanted to protect her from the big, bad world and take care of her forever. So we took the bold step of tying the knot.”

Their decision predictably created a uproar – and not just within Mukesh’s family. It caused a furore across the town. But the couple was determined to take their decision to its logical conclusion with all the courage at their command. Shabnam ultimately wed Mukesh, and the ceremony was witnessed by the elders of the kinnar community and organised with a lot of fanfare.

Like other blushing brides-to-be, Shabnam too thoroughly enjoyed her pre-wedding haldi and mehendi ceremonies before she finally tied the knot officially and settled down in a cosy home with her beau. Today many months have passed since the duo settled down together. Ask Shabnam if things have changed after the wedding and if the fires of passion have dulled somewhat, she is quick with her reply, “In fact, we have only gotten closer after the marriage. We have become even more sensitive towards each other’s feelings and needs and we are glad that we took this decision to be together.”

With a closer interrogation, it becomes evident that the couple’s life this past year has been anything but easy. When they got married, Mukesh had expressed his wish to take care of his wife financially. Shabnam was more than happy to stop going for the ‘gana bajana’ (singing and dancing) sessions and other activities that the kinnar community participates in to run their homes. Initially she did stay at home, while Mukesh worked as a daily wager and sometimes as a steward at an eatery to make ends meet. But the couple soon realised that his earnings were not sufficient to run a home. Finally, Shabnam decided to go for her ‘work trips’ along with the rest of her clan members.

Shabnam’s guru, Kashish, who is the head of a ‘hijra’ clan in Nagpur, gets emotional as she says, “I really pray that my ‘girl’ stays content forever in her new life and I want her groom to protect her from all the obstacles in life. Financially, my dharma daughter has to lend a helping hand to her husband, but I’m happy to see that the two are living happily despite the economic hardships.”

While, on the one hand, their financial troubles have given them plenty of sleepless nights; on the other, hurtful barbs have come their way in abundance after their marriage. Mukesh admits that both of them have a tough road ahead. “But, I’m ready for all the challenges and insults. My family didn’t attend the wedding and even now they are not supporting us in any way. But I’m capable of taking care of my responsibilities and I have Shabnam by my side. I know, we will not have our own children, so we plan to go in for adoption later,” he says.

Mukesh is very clear about one thing. As he puts it, “If anyone says anything nasty to my wife, I will not tolerate it and will give a befitting reply for sure. Every marriage, at the end of the day, has to face its share of challenges and dilemmas. But when we are together – after fighting these small battles of life – the journey seems truly beautiful.”

The saga of this brave couple will go a long way in portraying ‘hijras’ – the marginalised sex –  in a more sympathetic manner. The unfortunate part of the story though is that there is no legal sanction for this marriage with a difference. According to senior lawyer, Madhavi Chimote, (BASED) this union is null and void before the law. “The Hindu Marriage Act doesn’t recognise such marriages, but no action can be taken against the couple by the police,” she states.

The senior-most guru of the kinnar clan and the dharma ‘naani’ of Shabnam, Seeta Shah, stands by the couple as they face rough times.

source: http://freepressjournal.in/celebrating-love-with-a-difference/

Being Transgender or Transsexual?

What's the difference between being transgender or transsexual and having an intersex condition?

People who identify as transgender or transsexual are usually people who are born with typical male or female anatomies but feel as though they’ve been born into the “wrong body.” For example, a person who identifies as transgender or transsexual may have typical female anatomy but feel like a male and seek to become male by taking hormones or electing to have sex reassignment surgeries.

People who have intersex conditions have anatomy that is not considered typically male or female. Most people with intersex conditions come to medical attention because doctors or parents notice something unusual about their bodies. In contrast, people who are transgendered have an internal experience of gender identity that is different from most people.

Many people confuse transgender and transsexual people with people with intersex conditions because they see two groups of people who would like to choose their own gender identity and sometimes those choices require hormonal treatments and/or surgery. These are similarities. It’s also true, albeit rare, that some people who have intersex conditions also decide to change genders at some point in their life, so some people with intersex conditions might also identify themselves as transgender or transsexual.

In spite of these similarities, these two groups should not be and cannot be thought of as one. The truth is that the vast majority of people with intersex conditions identify as male or female rather than transgender or transsexual. Thus, where all people who identify as transgender or transsexual experience problems with their gender identity, only a small portion of intersex people experience these problems.

It’s also important to understand the differences between these two groups because in spite of some similarities they face many different struggles, including different forms of discrimination. The differences between transgender and transsexual and intersex have been understood by lawmakers in countries such as Australia where lawmakers have publicly acknowledged that people with intersex conditions have distinct needs from people who identify as transgender or transsexual.

People who identify as transgender or transsexual also face discrimination and deserve equality. We also believe that people with intersex conditions and folks who identify as transgender or transsexual can and should continue to work together on human rights issues; however, there are important differences to keep in mind so that both groups can work toward a better future.

source: http://www.isna.org/faq/transgender

The Choice

Becoming a Hijra in India is both dangerous, and also life fulfilling. There is no protection for Hijras in India, so they have to figure out ways to live safe lives without the government’s protection. The people who become Hijras are aware of this, yet they choose to fulfill a part of their lives that needs to be filled-the woman part. There are many ways that Hijras can become a part of the community, some are taken as children when they are born a hermaphrodite or have genital deformities, and others choose to run away from home at some point in their lives. They are unhappy living as men, or they just don’t feel like it’s who they are at heart.

Living as a Hijra does become somewhat easier when they come to a community of Hijras. Most Hijras live in communities composed almost entirely of Hijras. Inside these communities there are families. They are fictive kinship families, but for the Hijras, most of who are abandoned by their families, they become their family. Each family has a head of the family, a Hijra who is older and more knowledgeable, called a ‘guru’, and their “children,” or ‘chela,’ younger Hijras who they have taken in. There are mother-daughter, sister-sister, and all sorts of other female relationships within one community. Because most are abandoned by their families when they become a Hijra, the community replaces what they lost.

Along with being abandoned by their families, most Hijras also had childhoods that were confusing and unhappy. They felt like girls, yet their parents told them that they were men. “My childhood was torture,” says Xavier Ammal, a Hijra. She had to leave her family at age 13 because her parents didn’t want a ‘woman’ for a son. When they return to visit their families later in life, most families pretend they don’t have a child, or simply refuse to see them. Luckily, the Hijras still have their fictive kinship families to return to. These communities are the safe havens for the Hijras, and are the only place they are pretty much safe.

source: http://indianhijras.blogspot.in/2008/10/choice.html

The Operation

Living in a society where you are tormented, bullied, and harassed can’t be much fun, yet the half a million Hijras in India choose this lifestyle. Why would someone choose this? It can’t be fun, having to beg for money, or being a prostitute. But the thing is, they don’t have a choice. Since their government won’t accept them as a gender, meaning that up until recently they had a hard time acquiring passports, there isn’t much choice. As I read more about the Hijra culture, I am beginning to be able to understand them better. Every culture has people who are forced to do whatever it takes to put food on the table for their loved ones. For the Hijras, they have to turn to prostitution, begging, and the tax collecting mentioned in a previous blog. Being the average white American female (physically and mentally), I can’t imagine feeling like I need to change my sex in order to be my true self.

For the Hijras, although it is a difficult choice, and a life that they would normally not choose, it is the correct choice, because it is who they really are. It is not a good life, as many have said in the readings I have done, but it is a true life. For many transsexual people in the United States, an operation is not done, or just not considered. For Hijras, an operation is the final step in their transformation, although there are many today who are either hermaphrodites, have genital disfiguration, or just choose not to have an operation, however the majority have some sort of operation done. The operation the Hijras receive, as mentioned in the previous blog, is considerably different from the customary American one. This makes the Hijras even more frightening for some people, because they don’t quite have proper looking female genitalia, yet they look and act like females, and they are mentally female. Choosing this life and surgery is one of the most un-understandable things for me.

Works Cited:

Dutt, Nabanita
2002 Eunuchs-India's Third Gender. Electronic Document, http://thingsasian.com/stories-photos/2022, accessed October 22, 2008. 

source: http://indianhijras.blogspot.in/2008/10/operation.html

Under the knife

So while reading the book last night, I was tested on all of my beliefs. I’m afraid of surgery enough as it is, but what the Hijras do for their beliefs is incredible. In 9^th grade we did a religion unit in Ancient World Cultures, and we talked about ‘nirvana’ being the place that Hindus and Buddhists wanted to reach. Hijras call their emasculation process “nirvan.” This means to be reborn, in their case as a woman. It is a “rite of passage,” which I can understand. This passage takes them from being someone they know they are not to being someone they know they are. The three parts of the rite consist of removing the former being (the actual operation, which as mentioned before can only take place with a blessing), then recovery where the individual is neither a man nor a Hijra, and finally the ceremony where the individual becomes a Hijra with all the Hijra powers. Since I don’t believe in any sort of god, this was at first hard for me to understand, but now I have come to an understanding that goes along with my beliefs.

If I was going to be getting a surgery similar in risk to what the Hijras receive, I would want reassurance from the doctor, my family, and everyone else important to me that everything was going to be ok. Essentially, the Hijras get their reassurance from the god. If they don’t get the reassurance they don’t get the surgery, ensuring for themselves that they will survive. During and after the surgery many more “pujas” which are basically offerings to the god Mata, are made to protect the recipient. The entire ceremony and operation is very religious and ritualistic, which is done for safety and spiritual reasons.

Works Cited:

Nanda, Serena
1999 The Hijras of India: Neither Man nor Woman. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company.

source: http://indianhijras.blogspot.in/2008/11/under-knife.html

Becoming A Hijra

As far as I have found out, having the operation is the most important aspects of becoming a Hijra officially. There are of course Hijras who have not had the operation, but generally they are either born as a Hijra (either a hermaphrodite or with ‘not perfect’ male genitalia) or will perhaps someday get the operation. The basis of being a Hijra depends on the emasculation of the male, or becoming impotent. Since being a Hijra is comparable feelings wise to being a ‘woman’, meaning that Hijras have feelings for men rather than women.

During my research, which I was doing once again by reading the book by Serena Nanda, I got the ritual operation explained to me, and it, as several other aspects of my research have done, surprised and shocked me. Being from a Western country, namely the United States, it is hard for me to understand people getting things similar to gender reassignment surgery done not in a hospital, or by a licensed medical doctor. Nonetheless, I decided that I was going to understand why the Hijras were willing to get this surgery done by other Hijras.

First off, getting the power to perform the surgery is not an easy process, so not just any Hijra can perform the surgery. Being an Atheist myself, I have never been a big believer in religions, especially when it comes to what I think of as crazy and dangerous rituals. This surgery fits right in with a dangerous ritual, but after reading the book I can understand the religious beliefs of the Hijras better and get some understanding of why they would choose to go to such lengths to receive this operation. In order for the Hijra performing the operation to be able to operate, she first needs to become a ‘dai ma’ which is essentially a midwife. This ‘dai ma’ receives the blessing from a god, the Mata. Once this blessing has been achieved, the Hijra can operate. In order for another Hijra to receive the operation she also needs to get the Mata’s blessing, which can take a long time and several attempts. This blessing is essential to getting the operation because without it, the surgery could kill the Hijra. The entire emasculation process is based very much on religion, something that I will be exploring more in the next blog entry.

Works Cited:

Nanda, Serena
1999 The Hijras of India: Neither Man nor Woman. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company.

source: http://indianhijras.blogspot.in/2008/11/becoming-hijra.html

Hijras - The Ramayana, Mahabharata & The Islam.

Although many hijras identify as Muslim, many practice a form of syncretism that draws on multiple religions; seeing themselves to be neither men nor women, hijras practice rituals for both men and women. Hijras belong to a special caste. They are usually devotees of the mother goddess Bahuchara Mata, Lord Shiva, or both.

Hijras in the Ramayana
In some versions of the Ramayana, when Rama leaves Ayodhya for his 14-year exile, a crowd of his subjects follow him into the forest because of their devotion to him. Soon Rama notices this, and gathers them to tell them not to mourn, and that all the "men and women" of his kingdom should return to their places in Ayodhya. Rama then leaves and has adventures for 14 years. When he returns to Ayodhya, he finds that the hijras, being neither men nor women, have not moved from the place where he gave his speech. Impressed with their devotion, Rama grants hijras the boon to confer blessings on people during auspicious inaugural occasions like childbirth and weddings. This boon is the origin of badhai in which hijras sing, dance, and give blessings.

Hijras in the Mahabharata
Mahabharata includes an episode in which Arjun, a hero of the epic, is sent into an exile. There he assumes an identity of a eunuch-transvestite and performs rituals during weddings and childbirths that are now performed by hijras.
In the Mahabharata, before the Kurukshetra War, Ahiravan offers his lifeblood to goddess Kali to ensure the victory of the Pandavas, and Kali agrees to grant him power. On the night before the battle, Aravan expresses a desire to get married before he dies. No woman was willing to marry a man doomed to die in a few hours, so Krishna assumes the form of a beautiful woman called Mohini and marries him. In South India, hijras claim Aravan as their progenitor and call themselves "aravanis."
In Tamil Nadu each year in April and May, hijras celebrate an eighteen-day religious festival. The aravani temple is located in the village Koovagam in the Ulundurpet taluk in Villupuram district, and is devoted to the deity Koothandavar, who is identified with Aravan. During the festival, the aravanis reenact a story of the wedding of Lord Krishna and Lord Aravan, followed by Aravan's subsequent sacrifice. They then mourn Aravan's death through ritualistic dances and by breaking their bangles. An annual beauty pageant is also held, as well as various health and HIV or AIDS seminars. Hijras from all over the country travel to this festival. A personal experience of the hijras in this festival is shown in the documentary India's Ladyboys, by BBC Three and also on the television series Taboo on the National Geographic Channel.

Hijras in Islam
There is evidence that Indian hijras identifying as Muslim also incorporate aspects of Hinduism. Still, despite this syncretism, Reddy (2005) notes that a hijra does not practice Islam differently from other Muslims and argues that their syncretism does not make them any less Muslim.
Reddy (2003) also documents an example of how this syncretism manifests: in Hyderabad, India a group of Muslim converts were circumcised, something seen as the quintessential marker of male Muslim identity. . In addition to these "male" rituals, the hijras took on "female" practices from Islam such as veiling, as opposed to veiling from other traditions

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hijra_(South_Asia)

Annual Transgender festival - Koovagam

Annual Transgender festival @ Koovagam, Viluppuram, Tamilnadu, April 2013

Of the many bizarre and strange customs and festivals observed in India, the Koothandavar festival of Koovagam is one among them. The very basis of the festival, its associated rituals and the people involved make it the weirdest possible celebration on earth. A celebration of love and death, of sacrifice and life.

The small hamlet of Koovagam is present in the Vizhuppuram district of Tamil Nadu, making it virtually a ‘nothing’. However, once a year this tiny village turns into the biggest camp for transgenders from all over the country. They gather in flocks to take part in the rituals of the festival which lasts for 18 days, culminating on chitra pournami (april-may).

Story behind this
A festival which has its base rooted into the depths of the Mahabharatha war, Krishna’s cunningness and the noble nature of a very valiant young man.

War between the Pandavas and Kauravas was imminent. There was no way that a war could be averted, thus saving millions of innocent human lives. Krishna, as the protector of the universe was worried about the outcome of the war. It was true that he could intervene with his divine powers and avert catastrophe, but humans are required to decide their own fates. That’s what the vedas and shastras say. But still, he wanted the Pandavas to win the war, for he was on their side and their doings were just and moral. This would be the ultimate “Good wins over Bad” story if it went along as he desired.

Having no choice, he goes to Sahadeva who is blessed with the talent of accurately forecasting the future and reading horoscopes, Sahadeva rolled his Shozhi (shells used to help in prediction) and after several calculations looked up and said “To attain victory in the upcoming war, you need to sacrifice a man filled with all the good qualities of Valor, strength, bravery, beauty and such, to the goddess of war, Kali. He who first performs this sacrifice will gain the blessings of Kali and win the war”,

All along his way back his mind was filled with a single thought, “Is there anyone… Anyone else, other than Arjuna who can match the requirements of sacrifice? Anyone at all?” He pleaded, only to be met by a stunning silence. Krishna’s heart shattered at the thought of losing a dear friend. He felt light headed and started to sway with dizziness, when a voice cut through his haziness.
“Am I eligible to be sacrificed?” the voice asked. Looking for the source of the voice, Krishna’s eyes land on a very handsome man, dressed as a warrior and bearing resemblances to Arjuna. “Who are you, may I know?” questioned Krishna, as hope revived in his heart.

“I am Aravaan, the son of Arjuna, born to the Naaga princess Chithrangadha, through an illicit wedlock. I have come here to help bring victory to my father and his brothers. And if I can indeed help them win by sacrificing myself, then I am ready to die.” he proclaimed.

Krishna is flooded with relief. Using his divine powers, he comes to know that Aravaan is indeed a warrior par excellence, full of good qualities and excellent character. “He would make the perfect sacrifice to Kali”, Krishna thought and he beckoned Aravaan to come with him. He introduced Aravaan to the Pandavas including to Arjuna, his father (what weirdness!!!) and praised the sacrificial qualities of Aravaan. “So you will be sacrificed to the Goddess at the dawn of war, tomorrow. Purify yourself mentally and physically and prepare for the day. Long live your sacrifice”, Krishna told Aravaan and turned to leave.

“One moment my lord, I have but a few wishes to be granted before I die. Will you grant them?” Aravaan asked Krishna. “Why don’t you try me?” Krishna winked mischievously at Aravaan.” My lord”, began Aravaan,” I have had the good fortune to enjoy much in life, but before I die, I would like to enjoy the heat of a woman. I wish to die a married man, my lord.” Krishna is stunned. Which woman would marry a man who is going to the sacrificial altar the very next day? Probably none. No woman is crazy to throw her life away.”We will manage that”, he assured Aravaan, “Anything else?”.”Yes my lord, I would like to witness the entire war unfold, in my physical body and I would also like to fight on the Pandava side for a minimum of three weeks. Is that agreeable?”
It was here that the jealousy of Krishna kicked in. He knew that Aravaan was an excellent warrior and if he was allowed to fight there would be no need of any of the Pandavas or Krishna himself. “ParthaPuthra, what is ‘three weeks’ to a man like you? You can probably crush the entire enemy forces in three and a two third minutes. You will be able to fight on the Pandava side for those three and a two third minutes.” Aravaan agreed, charmed by Krishna’s flattery and speech. “If that is all, you can follow me to meet your bride, who will be your wife tonight and your widow in some days.” Krishna commanded.

Aravaan followed Krishna to the interiors of the palace. There, in the presence of the Pandavas and a few close friends, Krishna did the unbelievable. He transformed himself into Mohini, a form so beautiful that even Shiva had fallen for it, and in the presence of the elders, married Aravaan. That night Aravaan got his first wish fulfilled. Mohini seduced him with all her sexuality. All through the night, Aravaan was confused if he was with a man or woman. The smell of butter and milk reminded him of Krishna, but at the same time he couldn’t come out of Mohini’s clutches. The night passed and the day of the war dawned.

Aravaan was taken to the battle field and was made to stand at the center. There he tore off his skin from his arms and offered them to Kali. Kali, ever thirsty for blood, pounced on it and gave her blessings to Pandavas. The war began. Over the course of the 18 days, Aravaan kept Kali satisfied, stripping pieces from his body and offering it to her. On the final day when his allotted 3 and a two-third minutes of time came up, he realised that he had been tricked. He just had his head and his skeleton intact. A fat lot of use they would come to.

Conetemplating, he assumed his Vishwaroopa form and with his head as a large stone, he rolled over the enemy forces killing millions and badly hurting himself. The war was over. The Pandavas had won and the cause for it all, Aravaan, was lying, all alone on the Kurukshetra field. During his final moments on earth, when his life was ebbing away, he heard the high pitched wail of a woman. Turning towards the source of the wail, he sees Krishna, as Mohini, beating her breasts and wailing, the very picture of a widowed woman grieving her husband. With that final sight, his spirit soared heaven-wards and joined the other immortal heroes in warrior heavens, forever shining upon the brave warriors of yore. Aravaan had passed on, a happy man.

This chapter in the Mahabharatha forms the central theme of the 18 day festival at Koovagam. The small shrine at Koovagam is dedicated to none other than Aravaan himself and he is worshipped as Koothandavar. The 18 day festival celebrates the final days of Aravaan’s life, right up to his brave sacrifice on the 18th day. The highlight of the festival happens to be the marriage of Aravaan. The transgenders who gather here are the self-proclaimed brides of Aravaan. They claim themselves to be incarnations of Krishna, who was a man trapped inside a woman’s body, when he seduced Aravaan, just like the transgenders themselves. The first 15 days of the festival pass in dancing, singing and merrymaking, the transgenders putting up colourful and lively performances. All through the 18 days, a gigantic head of Aravaan is made and painted with the greatest care within the temple precincts

On the 17th day, the priest does special poojas to the idol of Aravaan and bringing upon the power of Aravaan on himself, he ties the mangalsutra (the sacred marital thread) around the neck of all the transgenders present there. They are now the wives of Aravaan, just for the night. A gala feast is organised which is followed by a night full of merrymaking, laughter and dance. The gigantic head of Aravaan is mounted on a chariot and taken around the village.

At the dawn of the 18th day, the air is ripped by sharp wails, as Aravaan is beheaded, widowing all his one-day-old wives. Following the traditions, the widows of Aravaan rip the Mangalsutraa from their necks, tear flowers out of their hair, throw away ornaments, and remove all cosmetics from their faces, wailing loudly, beating their chests, just like Krishna mourned for Aravaan long, long ago. They did a holy dip and wear a white saree (widow costume). And till that day arrives, they have to rely on the grace of Aravaan to take them through the rough times to come.

Third gender - some general definations and differences.

Perhaps in some contexts all may be considered members of the same “third gender” category,  but it is also useful and important to clarify some basic differences between these terms and others. Below are some very short, shorthand definitions:

Eunuch: an historic English term for a man who has been castrated to perform special social functions.
Intersexual: a term referring to people who are born with a mixture of both “male” and “female” hormonal, chromosomal, and/or genital characteristics (historically referred to as “hermaphrodite.”) (See the work of biologist Anne Fausto Sterling.)
Hijra: A term originating in South India referring to a person usually born male or intersex, but who uses female pronouns as dresses in feminine/”women’s” attire.
Transsexual: a term referring to someone who changes their sex through medical (surgical and/or hormonal) procedures.
Transgendered: a term referring to someone whose gender identity is different from the one traditionally assigned to their sex category. (People are born into sex categories of male and female; many but not all then become gendered masculine or feminine and into “men” and “women.”) Thus a transgendered person born in the female sex category may identify with the gender category “man” or “boi.” This may or may not involve surgical or hormonal alteration (in other words, it can simply be a social agreement).
Drag: a term that comes out of gay culture, involving someone temporarily “performing” a gender not usually associated with their sex (through dress, gestures, and so on). Ironic humor and extravagant campiness often involved.
Transvestite/cross-dresser: These are older terms with many meanings and histories — and often the term has been used in a derogatory fashion. In terms of practice though, “cross dressers” are often not gay, but “straight” men who simply enjoy dressing up as “women.”

These definitions are not meant to be comprehensive, but simply an entry point for those unfamiliar with these terms. There are also dozens of other terms associated with specific cultures and histories. (Readers, feel free to share other definitions, links, or references!)

Some recommended books on “third gender” related issues:

Jacobs, Sue-Ellen, Wesley Thomas, and Sabine Lang (Eds). 1997. Two-Spirit People: Native American Gender Identity, Sexuality, and Spirituality. University of Illinois Press.
Manalansan, Martin. 2003. Global Divas: Filipino Gay Men in the Diaspora. Durham, NC: Duke University Press.
Namaste, Viviane. 2000. Invisible Lives: The erasure of transsexual and transgendered people. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Preves, Sharon. 2003. Intersex and Identity: The Contested Self. Rutgers University Press.
Reddy, Gayatri. 2005. With Respect to Sex: Negotiating Hijra Identity in South India. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Stryker, Susan and Stephen Whittle, (Eds). 2006. The Transgender Studies Reader. New York: Routledge.

Third Gender – Equality and Truth

It is a brave and honest person who can stand apart from the masses and openly challenge its most treasured beliefs. ~ Donna Evans

As humans, we understand a little about our complex bodies even with the greatest medical science. It is what it is. Then why lie? Secrecy and stigma are worse than the condition itself. Without truth and transparency, it is difficult to pass laws, provide equal rights, offer support and help for all. We need to have an environment which encourages truth, tolerance, and respect for all.  Are there only two genders or is there a third gender? Regardless of which side of the issue you are on, we can all agree that truth is always the right option and secrecy and lying have no place for a long-term solution in a civilized society. There are several issues with secrecy and lying. First it is wrong. Second it does not take into account the feelings and trauma of the person being lied to. Third it could lead to criminal acts such as if lying is a crime under oath. What are the bioethics for disclosure to spouses?

It is NOT about gender identity or it is NOT about the sexual identity, it is about the HUMAN identity which is to say the truth.

As a human being, everyone deserves a feeling of “belonging”, understanding and acceptance. Without recognition of the truth, how will an intersex person marry legally or how can an intersex couple (who are infertile) adopt a child legally or have a child through in vitro fertilization (IVF) legally?  What about the equal laws and rights of the young, male, spouse caregiver of the intersex patient? Truth above all is the right long-term solution. If allowing a “third gender” option helps foster saying the truth then maybe that is the path to take. By saying the truth, one can get rights and people are making changes in the third gender community including wanting legalizing sex reassignment surgery (SRS).
The Truth – Some Want The Third Gender and Some Don’t

Gender identity and sex identity are biological, cultural or biocultural? The western culture and laws have a narrative of binary gender – male or female. As a result, several resources and money are utilized to promote science, research, groups, communities, viewpoints only from a binary gender perspective. While for centuries, the existence of “third gender” is widely accepted in South Asian cultures like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal and other places like Phillipines, Oman and so on. In Hindu religion, hijras are both recognized and have a special status. Culturally, people have a right to be allowed their freedom of expression as noted by Nepali LGBTI politician and activist. After all, diversity should be tolerated and celebrated. Through centuries, the “third gender” has been institutionalized and also holds a special relevance in the society. The “third gender” are enjoying more civil rights; being counted in the census, right to vote, option to display third gender on passports, and other freedoms. The “third gender” is legitimized in several places in the world. Above all, the “third gender” are free to express the truth as they see it – a fundamental right of any human being.  The western narrative of binary gender could overshadow the cultural diversities and the viewpoints of others in the world who believe in the “third gender” and respect it. With globalization occurring at a faster pace than ever before, it is important to account for everyone’s voice to be heard and be respected and not just the loudest voice in the room. It also so happens the South Asian countries happen to be some of the most populous in the world and statistically would have more “third gender” persons. Has their voice been heard or considered? Non-western cultures have accepted the truth as nature delivers for centuries instead of forcing people to use a strategy of secrecy and lying. In truth, there is respect for all human beings. Shouldn’t we be working towards an environment that fosters saying the truth?
Binary Gender Viewpoint

This is a debate which may never end. The binary gender viewpoint assumes there are only two genders in the world – male or female. Implicitly, are they denying the rights of people on how they should feel? There are several accounts of intersex people who feel neither man or woman or feel both, it just is. Why cannot intersex people feel as they do? Ironically the proponents of intersex communities fall prey to the heteronormativity norm and educate their members that they should “feel” like a woman or a man. They do not introduce the concept of the “third gender” in their education and awareness. Some members of the community just might feel more comfortable identifying themselves as the “third gender” if the option were available. And when the communities do not take up a unified approach, it is hard to change laws and instead succumb to the binary gender norm. Inadvertently, they may be even encouraging a culture of secrecy and lying which could be more devastating than the condition itself. There are instances who want a definition of gender based on biology, how will that help people who do not fall into either category? Are these viewpoints taken into account? The fundamental question is does the binary gender viewpoint encourage an environment of truth, tolerance, and respect for all?
Third Gender – Truth for Inclusivity

The best thing about recognizing the “third gender” is it gives an option for those who would like to opt for saying the truth. As a human being, they do not feel confined to a binary definition of gender. The feeling of freedom of expression is priceless in its own way for every human being. Contrary to popular belief, the binary gender approach is impeding progress in freedom of expression as noted by a famous Nepal activist and politician. Giving the ability to a person to identify themselves freely gives them the chance to say the truth. It offers them freedom from living in secrecy and lying. They can build better, meaningful relationships based on understanding and acceptance. Without recognition of the truth, how will an intersex person marry legally or how can an intersex couple (who are infertile) adopt a child legally or have a child through in vitro fertilization (IVF) legally?  It is about respecting feelings of all including the caregivers of intersex people who may have been lied to. It is important for the caregivers to be allowed to share the truth freely as they see it just like an intersex person is allowed. Or are we going to advocate infringing on caregivers’ minority rights? Are there equal laws and rights of the young, male, spouse caregiver of the intersex patient? In the end, let truth prevail. Education and awareness “inclusive” of feelings and sensitivities of all is the right solution. Imagine a medical condition like Alzheimer’s – a very traumatic condition both for the patient and the family caregiver. There is a lot of information and resources and support groups for caregivers of Alzheimer’s. The inclusive approach makes the experience so much better both for the caregivers and the patients. Isn’t truth the best way for all caregiver-patient relationships regardless of the medical condition?

“We often talk about moral values, justice and trust, but the important thing is to put them into effect in our everyday lives.” – Dalai Lama
East or West, Truth is the Best

Here is an excerpt from a recent article:

Male-to-female transgenders, also known as “hijras”, have a long history in South Asia, experts say. The Sanskrit texts of the Kama Sutra, written between 300 and 400 B.C., refers to a “third sex”. The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian Hindu text on human sexual behavior in Sanskrit literature.

During the Mughal empire in the 16th and 17th centuries, castrated hijras – or eunuchs – were respected and considered close confidants of emperors, often being employed as royal servants and bodyguards. These jobs were so coveted that historians say some parents actually castrated their sons in order to attain favor with the Mughal kings and secure employment for their children. But despite acceptance centuries ago, hijras today live on the fringes of Indian society and face discrimination in jobs and services such as health and education.

“I think things are different today because of the kind of laws that were introduced to India when the British came. The whole concept of unnatural and natural was defined in our law,” said Indian gay rights activist Anjali Gopalan.

*************End Excerpt*************

This treatment stems from the British enacted legislation: ‘The Criminal Tribes Act 1871’ under which hijras were criminalized and persecuted. This is not about the East Vs. West. This is about the truth. Accepting the truth. Understanding the truth. Looking ahead with the truth. If we continue to sow the seeds of secrecy and lying, there maybe no fruit to enjoy.

By being truthful, the “third gender” for centuries were able to get more recognition and have a better life than today. What have they achieved  by secrecy and lying either for themselves or the ones they come in contact with?
Out With the Old…And In With The Truth

Traditionally, the medical approach has been for intersex people to have sex reassignment surgery(SRS) with or without the consent of the patient and an institutional strategy of secrecy and lying is used. Why? Today advocates of intersex people want to move from a traditional “concealment-based approach” to a “patient-centric approach”.  It is the right direction because it involves saying the truth. Have they gone far enough and “included” everyone in the “new solution”? What about including caregivers of intersex people? For example, when the surgery and treatment occurs while in a marriage and what it does to an unwitting young, spousal caregiver? Who is the advocate for the rights and what is in the best interest of the spousal caregiver of intersex people? Given that equal rights of LGBTI are still in the making, equal rights for caregiver of LGBTI are not even being discussed or on the horizon because the truth is silenced. Intersex people can identify with the issues of secrecy, lying, trauma, crisis, stigma, sensitivity, and so on. A caregiver has their own feelings as a patient caregiver of this medical condition. Worse yet if the caregiver was lied to and brought into this situation unknowingly. Having a genetic condition is no one’s control but lying about is in their control. The struggles that intersex people have gone through and are still going through are well documented and are beginning to gain some ground in altering traditional stereotypes. They will be the first ones to recognize then how much of an uphill it is for a caregiver of intersex people to be recognized. Just stick with the facts – the truth. Caregivers have all the sensitivity for intersex patients but sensitivity has to be two ways. Can we show some sensitivity to the silent, isolated, often intimidated, stigmatized, bullied, caregiver of intersex patient? A far smaller minority than the total population of intersex patients.

source: http://www.caissg.org/third-gender-equality-truth/

Hijras – The Third Sex

Hijras — Nabiha Meher @ 8:42am June 8, 2007

The word hijra is an Urdu word meaning eunuch or hermaphrodite. However, in reality, hijras are very diverse and most join the community as young boys. Hijras consist of hermaphrodites, as well as women who are unable to menstruate and lead the “normal” female life which consists of getting married and producing children. However, a great number of hijras are men who identify themselves as more feminine than masculine, mostly because their sexual desire is for men and not women.

The hijras are an ancient community in the Indian subcontinent with members in Pakistan and Bangladesh. They are classified as the third sex and have their own gender role. Serena Nanda describes them as “man minus maleness” and “man plus woman”. They are not considered either because of their inability to reproduce. In the Indian subcontinent, great emphasis is placed on one’s ability to have children. Someone who is unable to have children is not considered a true man or woman. Therefore, hijras are a separate identity, who fit into neither category, with aspects of both genders.

The population of hijras in India is estimated to be between 50,000 and 1.2 million. There is a huge disparity in the numbers because population censuses only give space to define either males or females. There are no reliable statistics.

The traditional occupation for hijras consists of begging for alms when bestowing blessings on male babies and at weddings. They are notorious for knowing when a baby boy is born and arriving at the right house to sing and dance and demand alms. Most of their songs are about pregnancy and their dances are mostly parodies of pregnant women. They also demand to inspect the baby to check if he is a “normal” boy or an intersexed baby, in which case they might start demanding that the child be handed over to them as it is a hijra. It seems ironic that the hijras, who are unable to reproduce, have the power to bestow fertility blessings on brides. The power to do so comes to them through Bahuchara Mata who is a version of the Mother Goddess. The Mother Goddess plays the role of the mother, who is the creator and nurturer, as well as the destroyer. Hence, she has the power to grant fertility or take it away. However, because of increasing westernization, the traditional roles of hijras are no longer in as much demand as they used to be. Hijras have a hard time accessing houses and apartment buildings because of security, and with an increasing middle class that has access to other forms of entertainment such as cinemas, hijras are no longer required for diversions. A great number of hijras are turning to prostitution which goes against the hijra ideal of asceticism. Ideally hijras are meant to renounce sex and be the devotees of Bahuchara Mata.

All “true” hijras are required to undergo an emasculation operation called nirvan. Nirvan means rebirth and most hijras see this operation as their rebirth into the hijra form from the male. It consists of the complete removal of the penis and testes and is essential in transforming them from men to women. Only after this are they granted their special powers of blessings and curses. The operation consists of three stages: the preparation, the operation and the recovery. All stages consist of various complex rituals. The preparation stage involves praying to Bahuchara Mata and waiting for a good signal from her. One such gesture is the breaking of a coconut, and unless the coconut is broken in half, the hijra-to-be does not go through with the operation because it is seen as a sign that Bahuchara Mata does not want this person to be a hijra just yet. Once the operation has been granted to a hijra, she is given a period of rest where she is not allowed to work or be involved in any sexual activity. This can vary from a week to a month. The actual operation is done by a hijra called a dai ma who is granted the power to do the operation by Bahuchara Mata. On the day of the operation, the dai ma lets herself into the room of the hijra to be operated on and prays to Bahuchara Mata. Then she awakens the hijra to be operated on and encourages her to pray and repeatedly chant Mata, so that she falls into a trance like state. Then the assistant holds the hijra back and encourages her to bite on her hair while the dai ma ties up the penis and testes, makes two diagonal cuts in them and pulls them out. The severed genitals are then buried under a tree and a tube is placed in the urethra. The blood coming out is allowed to flow because it is seen as the bad “male” blood and getting rid of it will get rid of the male inside the hijra. This is one of the reasons why hijras do not get proper doctors to operate upon them since they would stop the blood flow. The time when the blood is flowing is considered the most important time where the hijra, who has just been operated upon, is battling between life and death. Many prayers are said for her, but the blood is never stopped. The recovery period also involves many rituals which include forty days of rest (similar to that for a woman who has just given birth) and vomit inducing foods to get rid of the “maleness”. This operation is against the law in India; therefore, it is done behind closed doors.

Although most hijras dress as women, they engage in activities that would be considered inappropriate for Indian women such as dancing in public. They almost seem to be a caricature of women because hijras wear their hair long and wear saris and other traditional female dresses, whereas, in modern subcontinental society, the upper and middle class women cut their hair and wear western “male” clothes. Hijras also sing and dance and sway their hips in public, which women do not do.

All hijras are part of one community. The community consists of households where all the members contribute to run it like an Indian subcontinental joint family system. All hijras are part of one of seven houses which function as a family unit. Each house has a chief who represents them at meetings with all the other houses in order to discuss important issues. Being part of any specific house does not mean having an advantage or disadvantage over anything. They came into being in order to organize the community. Anyone wishing to join the hijra community must be sponsored by a guru whose house she will join. The guru functions as a teacher, as well as a mother. In fact, hijras refer to their guru’s guru and other members of their household with feminine relative names such as grandmother (nani for the guru’s guru) and aunt (khala for their guru’s sisters). Hijras, whose gurus have more than one disciple, refer to each other as their sisters.

Although most hijras identify with Islam, they do not seem to have a conflict with being part of a community that worships the Mother Goddess instead of Allah. Most of them fast during the Muslim holy month of Ramzan, get buried instead of cremated, and if they get married, they have a Muslim wedding called a nikkah. Some hijras do get married and live with their husbands, but by doing so, they are not cut off from their community. They live apart from them but still work with them. Most of them also adopt Muslim female names.

The hijras acceptance into Indian society is due to Hinduism more than Islam. Many Hindu deities are linked to the hijras such as Arjun (who lives for a year as eunuch), Vishnu (who transformed himself in to the most beautiful woman in the world in order to defeat a demon by seducing him), Shiva (who is both male and female and whose image is represented by a phallus in a vagina), and Krishna’s son Samba (who was a homosexual and cross dresser). “What is noteworthy about the hijras is that the role is so deeply rooted in Indian culture that it can accommodate a wide variety of temperaments, personalities, sexual needs, gender identities, cross-gender behaviours, and levels of commitment without losing its cultural meaning.” (Nanda, Neither Man nor Woman: The Hijras of India 19-20). Because hijras are able to identify with different figures in Indian mythology, they are tolerated and were traditionally much respected as the third sex. Also, as Serena Nanda points out, hijras do not have to conform to one set of norms since they are a very diverse group and have room for such diversity in their community.

The British rulers in India stripped the hijras of the laws that granted them the protection they received under Muslim rulers and regarded them as a menace to society. Because the hijras did not fit the category of male or female, the British passed laws that required the hijras to wear turbans in order to distinguish them from women.

Hijras in India are actively involved with raising awareness on issues, such as the problems related to discrimination against hiring hijras for certain jobs because of who they are. All official documents require that the sex of the individual be stated as either male or female, leaving no space for hijras. Hijras are not allowed in most restaurants, even when they have the money to eat. The treatment of hijras in hospitals is an issue of great concern because whenever a hijra is admitted in to a hospital, the doctors never knows whether to place her in the male ward or female ward. Some hijras are actively involved in raising awareness about AIDS because it is estimated that one in three hijras in Bombay is HIV positive.

Q: Do the hijras leave the penis and take out the testes only?
A: In order to become a “true” hijra they have to remove both so that they are as close to being a woman a possible.

Q: Hasn’t hijra prostitution been around for a very long time?
A: Not to the extent it is today. Earlier, hijras used to sell sex at certain temples for religious purposes. However, today some gurus encourage young hijras to become prostitutes because that brings them more money than other jobs do.

Q: Are hijras incapable of reproducing biologically?
A: Yes. One of the most important tests for joining the hijra community last century was proof of impotence. Potential hijras were made to sleep next to a prostitute for a number of days.

Q: Do hijras marry within the hijra community, or do they marry men or women?
A: They marry men and refer to them as their husbands.

Q: How are hijras treated in Pakistan and India?
A: They are viewed with different attitudes. Some people regard them as a menace whereas others feel sorry for them. Because Pakistan is a Muslim country, hijras do not have the same kind of respect as they would get under Hinduism. They are harassed and do not have much protection.

Q: Did the concept of hijras come to the Indian sub-continent from the Muslims?
A: They probably brought a different attitude with them which must have merged with what the hijras are today, especially since most of them identify with Islam. However, the concept of hijras is in Hindu literature and is part of the Hindu religion.

source: http://nabihameher.wordpress.com/2007/06/08/hijras-%E2%80%93-the-third-sex/

Why marriage equality may not be that equal

What she wants Hijras have been marrying their lovers much before the glamour for legal recognition of same-sex marriage started

Tehelka Magazine, Volume 10 Issue 19, Dated 11 May 2013

IF YOU have more than five gay friends on Facebook, you probably saw the YouTube video of the New Zealand MPs breaking into a Maori love song after they passed the gay marriage act. Though I fit the criterion, given that I am what most people in the country would refer to as a chhakka, I’m yet to see it. A similar act passed in the French parliament in the same month resulted in a wave of status updates cheering these decisions. These I have read, and almost everyone expressed some combination of hope about India following suit and despair on how we would take so long to catch up with the ‘progressive’ West.

Now what exactly do we want to catch up with? Scholars like Ruth Vanita and Saleem Kidwai have made the claim, with enough evidence to support that same-sex marriages have happened in the subcontinent before colonisation and even after. A hijra friend had claimed way back in 2003 that in just six months, she had been invited to witness at least 15 weddings between hijras and their partners, or between male couples. Or consider Koovagam, where hundreds of hijras come every year to marry their lovers. So clearly, it’s not that people here don’t get married, but that we want to claim legal status now.

What will this legal status offer someone from the hijra community, who works on the street and has negligible private property or savings? No alimony for sure, because more often than not it is her partner who is dependent on her earnings. Maybe we wish to protect the rights of her partner to her marginal savings post her death? But then again, a hijra’s dharma stipulates that she give her wealth to her guru or chelas, and not leave it for some man, who is likely to desert her at some point to return to his ‘true’ family. Same-sex marriage for the hijra, then, allows the man she marries to make a legal claim for the wealth that he would otherwise have been considered not deserving of, much like how parents or kin of hijras have been known in recent years to come in and make legal claims for their property after their death, even as they possibly were ashamed of her existence till then. In effect, legalising same-sex marriages offers nothing for the hijra community at least.

So we seem to want same-sex marriages to protect the legal rights of urban middle-class gay or lesbian identified men and women who might want to contract a legal marriage to ensure that they are able to access corporate and state benefits that accrue to couples. This urban minority, and its desire for a global LGBT identity, is increasingly the focus of much of LGBT legal rights work, even as it claims to speak for all people expressing transgressive erotic desires. This subsuming of the hijra into the global language of LGBT rights is reflective of the many ways in which legal LGBT activism in the country directs itself.

In the past decade, the euphoric attention that was brought to the reading down of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code has been questioned by many commentators as not reflecting the concerns of hijras and other marginalised communities. In 2003, a number of groups and individuals, who met in Pune at a meeting hosted by the lesbian-bisexual women’s collective Olava, opposed the petition filed in the Delhi High Court, reasoning that by asking for the exclusion of all consensual private sexual activity, the petitioners were, in effect, not concerning themselves with the lives of hijras, whose transgressive erotic acts in public spaces were most violently regulated by the police. And given that barely any cases had been filed under Section 377 since Independence, and that hijras were constantly arrested on propped-up charges of offending public morality, the group expressed the need for social action against such violent morality to be far more cogent and necessary in order to effect a change in social attitudes towards alternate erotic expressions.

The group saw the legal battle against Section 377, and the particular shape it had taken, as mostly driven from an upper-class male standpoint that was increasingly constructing it as the proverbial Damocles sword that threatened the legitimacy of their private sexual expressions. That this upper class gay-identified male vision was being directed through the language of human rights and was offering the hijra community as one which would be saved by these particular legal reforms was seen as problematic, given that repealing Section 377 was not a primary demand of the community.

This particular problem is also reflected in the way that a section of LGBT rights activists have been demanding that rape laws be made gender neutral, again under the pretext of giving hijras recourse to justice against rape and sexual assault. Given the new law’s recommendation to widen the existing definition of rape through the idea of sexual assault that included within its ambit acts such as sexual propositioning through touch and exposure of private parts, there is a high possibility that gender- neutral laws could more easily be used against hijras by the police, with help from male complainants, on two accounts. First, that the hijra’s mode of navigating public places includes acts of shaming men who ridicule her through a display of the castrated sexual organ. Second, that their livelihoods were also dependent on an overt sexual flirting with male bodies in the public space. Here, too, LGBT activism has ignored various other possibilities, such as demanding a Prevention of Atrocities Against Hijras Act, akin to the SC/ST Prevention of Atrocities Act, to offer real justice against violence.

Just as the singing of a Maori song in the New Zealand parliament hides the violent history of colonialism and the continuing racial discrimination by appropriating a marginal native voice, we might similarly be responsible for appropriating hijras to further a minority elite group’s global interests; at the cost of a violent erasure of a way of living through transgressive erotic desire that the hijras have built over many decades. The hijra is getting married as and when she wants; she’s not the coy bride looking stateward for approval, just as repealing Section 377 or gender neutral rape laws are not her demands. In order to avoid appropriating her, we might have to start any political activism, legal or otherwise, on marriage or rape, from the standpoint of a system of living that has perhaps been the most visible — if not the only — recourse for any kind of alternate sexual expression, apart from sex workers, for at least 4,000 years and built on a wealth of practical knowledge. Particularly when one considers the imminent threat to this system, not just from market forces selling individuated lifestyle, but also from similar strategies of translating the hijra as an individual transgender person effected by globally-oriented LGBT rights work and NGO speak. Such a beginning is surely not only obligatory, but also vital and just.

source: http://www.tehelka.com/why-marriage-equality-may-not-be-that-equal/

A marriage with a difference

Vinita Chaturvedi, TNN | Feb 26, 2012, 03.17 PM IST

As a kinnar bride and a straight guy gear up to get 'married' today (Feb 26) in Nagpur, we bring you the finer nuances of this bold love story. It's an exclusive...

This could easily be a typical Bollywood potboiler, albeit with a difference. Ismein hero hai, heroine hai, thrills hein, villain hai! But, here the plot takes a 180 degree turn and this action-packed romantic thriller becomes a new-age love story that is poised to write its name on the sands of time. Meet Shabnam (nee Gopal Khawaskar), the bride-to-be, who is a Kinnar (eunuch) and her would-be groom Mukesh, a straight guy. Together, they have decided to say boo to social taboos and now they are getting married on Sunday, February 26. As the two get formally engaged ahead of the wedding, we trace the tale of love...

Love at first sight!
This romance started over six months back, when Shabnam (21) went to visit Mukesh's (22) sister, who was her cousin's friend. "It was love at first sight for both of us. Mukesh asked for my cell number the first time we met. We soon became friends, and it then developed into love," says the bride-to-be. Mukesh, more shy of the two, chips in, "I can't express what I feel for her in words, but I want to protect her from the big, bad world and take care of her forever."

Tough road ahead
Shabnam's guru Kashish, who's the head of a hijra clan, gets emotional while blessing the young couple. "I really pray that my 'girl' stays happy forever in her new life and I want her groom to protect her from all the obstacles in life," says she.

Mukesh admits that both of them have a tough road ahead. "But, I'm ready for all the barbs. Now onwards, I will earn and she will run the home. My family is not attending the wedding on Sunday, but I'm capable of taking care of my responsibilities alone. I know, we will not have our own children, so we can go for adoption later," says he.

'Grooms for my hijras'
The seniormost guru of the clan and 'naani' of the bride-to-be, Seeta Shah, can't hide her happiness. "I want all my hijra kids to find grooms for themselves, so that they are no longer marginalised and alone in this world. This marriage will spread awareness in the society that kinnars are humans too. They have emotions and they need to be loved too. Tomorrow evening, we are organising the haldi ceremony for the couple. And on Sunday evening, the marriage will be solemnised according to Buddhist Rites at the Jhingabai Takli ground in Nagpur. I want to invite common people as well as the entire hijra community for the wedding. Everyone's blessings are needed!

Legally speaking
Agreed, that this bold step will go a long way in releasing the hijras from the shackles of anonymity. But, according to senior High Court lawyer, Navneet Shukul, this marriage is null and void. "The Hindu Marriage Act doesn't recognise such marriages, but no action can be taken against the couple by the police," says he.

source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/people/A-marriage-with-a-difference/articleshow/12043302.cms

Abheena and the Dancing Queens, Trans-dance of yin & yang

Abheena and the Dancing Queens are bringing drag culture to the Indian mainstream. Sunday Mid Day drops in for an evening rehearsal to see how they use drag to forge personal and collective identities that are neither masculine nor feminine, but rather their own complex genders
The drag queen is nature's perfect entertainer. What more regal source of sass could God have divined than the glam star who emerges when a man dons a dress, dances like an apsara with a heightened feminine persona, and wears make-up with the artistry of a professional?
Different from hijras (eunuchs), who almost always perform at conventional cultural occasions like marriages and birth rituals, drag queens take the stage at more private and alternative social spaces. Like the screening of LGBT films at French cultural hub Alliance Française de Bombay, where transgender dance troupe Abheena and the Dancing Queens performed their fiery brand of Bollywood dancing last week. 
Spearheaded by the suave and statuesque Abheena Aher, a communications specialist with Johns Hopkins University, this ambitious bunch of gay and transgender dancers is taking drag to the mainstream. And it's about time. Their clan has toiled endlessly in ghettos, hosting shows for a pittance that barely pay for their extravagant costumes and make-up. The bid is to bring drag to the show-front, while also spreading awareness on HIV/AIDS through musical plays. Abheena and her friends are part of a larger trend the world is witnessing.
Internationally, there was a time when drag queens simply imitated iconic women on stage and screen. Today, pop stars such as Lady GaGa are imitating drag queens like a playbook. The influence is visible in everything from her costumes, dance and attitude to stage persona. Michael Jackson's sister Janet reportedly took cues for her high-energy videos from huge drag performances she loved to attend. Meanwhile, pop diva Beyonce Knowles runs across the stage and rolls into a Death Drop, in true drag queen style. 
It's a dance move Urmi Jadhav has been showing off for years. "You throw your body to the ground; but without warning," says doe-eyed Urmi, a lead dancer in Abheena's rotating group of 14. Such dramatic drag dance moves, she asserts, are also used by Bollywood actresses who must employ unexpected physical manoeuvres that resonate all the way to the back of a cavernous venue. A full-time counsellor at Humsafar Trust by day, Urmi transforms into a danseuse on most evenings. A slew of "Best Dancer" trophies lining the shelves of her Vile Parle home are proof that her graceful turns a la all-time idol Madhuri Dixit-Nene, are a hit with dance contest judges. "The winning spree was so fantastic, the trust's CEO told me, hang up your ghungroos; give others a chance to win too!" she says with a visible blush. 
Her colleague Aleesha Khan is another Madhuri fan. "Aishwarya (Rai) is good too, especially in Devdas's Dola Re, in which she matches Madhuri step-for-step," says Aleesha aka Alam, while rehearsing for queer film fest Kashish. It's been a decade since the curvy self-help group co-ordinator came out of the closet. "I'm one of the lucky few to be introduced to my second family at Humsafar when I hit 18 years. So, I became comfortable with my sexual identity early enough," says Aleesha. When she is not in costume for a show, you'll find her sporting jeans and tee.
"I live with my brothers. This is how I dress at home too. Except, this one time a girl's family came over with a marriage proposal for my brother!" she says, as Abheena readies for a Helen number in a one-shoulder hot pink gown. Piya Tu streams on the sound system, and she strikes a confident pose that is more Madonna in the gayconic Vogue video. Abheena looks like desert queen Priscilla in her striking make-up.
Considering how drag queens start off with the raw ingredients of a man, and turn him into a glamorous woman, there is a notion that gay men and drag queens are clued into ways for women to look better. Take Miss J, the tall thin black queen who has taught Paris models to walk for years. R&B singer Gladys Knight has a transsexual make-up artiste. A former drag queen does the make-up for soul singer Patti Labelle. Female impressionist Kevin Aviance was employed by Destiny's Child, who took runway walking lessons from him. Fabulous!

source: http://www.mid-day.com/specials/2010/mar/280310-Dancing-Queens-Abheena-Eunuch.htm